Shadows

In the zendo in the early morning, i notice as the sun rises and streams through the windows throwing brilliant light and deep black shadows across the floor. As i sit, breath gently rising and falling, i notice weaving in and out of the light the shadows of butterflies. Only now, as i write, do i wonder the brilliant colors of their wings flashing in the sunlight. While sitting, i only notice the interplay of shadow and light, and the gentle rising and falling of my breath.

This morning i noticed that the butterflies were dancing inside my head, throwing shadows on my skull while they were simultaneously dancing outside the windows and on the floor before me.

This has left an impression. Have you ever been walking in brilliant sunshine and a bird crossing the sun suddenly sinks you in shadow? Startled, you search the sky. It reminds me of hearing the sound of F-16’s ripping across the heavens. My heart racing, i look up, searching and wondering what comes next.

All day the dancing butterflies inside my head have passed behind my eyes and in that instant everything falls to black. My heart cries out, all is lost. Just as suddenly the shadow is lifted, light pours in and all is illumined.


©Johnny Barber 8/4/07