Art as Life

I was first introduced to Mohamed Ghani's work when i was in Baghdad before the invasion. A new piece was being completed in the plaza on Abu Nuwas street by the Palestine Hotel. It was cast in bronze and was called "Magic Carpet". After years of sanctions and the threat of a new war looming on the horizon, the piece evoked different possibilities for the people of Iraq. Taking the theme from the stories of One Thousand and One Nights, it depicted Aladdin and Jasmine soaring skyward. The sculpture has survived the shock and awe campaign and the years of occupation. It remains a beacon of possibilities not yet realized for the children of Iraq.

As we wander through Mohamed Ghani's small studio he talks of the bronze pieces representing the losses felt since the invasion in 2003. He speaks of his son who was in Sweden for eleven months trying to secure passports for his wife and children, in the end to no avail. He speaks of the pain of Iraqi families who are now separated with family members in Iraq, Jordan, Syria and others resettled around the world. This alone is deeply traumatic for a culture that treasures family and where many extended families live in the same home.

As we talk he gently kneads a small ball of clay between his fingers. He stands next to a piece carved in stone and says he has a dream to create it one day in Baghdad. The piece depicts a column, cracked and falling and a man with five arms struggling to hold it upright. Mohamed explains that the column represents the culture of Iraq. The column is falling and if it does, all will be destroyed. The man with the five arms represents the Iraqi people who are protecting the culture. The five arms each represent one of the arts: theater, plastic arts (sculpture), poetry & literature, painting and film. The piece is a symbol for people to remember what happened during occupation.

As the occupation forces entered Baghdad after days of intense bombing, they permitted the looting of priceless pieces of Iraqi history and culture. Mohamed Ghani lost 150 pieces at the Museum of Modern Art. The sculptures that were too heavy to steal were smashed to bits on the museum floor. When he confronted an American soldier and asked how this was allowed to happen, he was told by the young soldier that "it isn't my job". Mohamed Ghani looks at me with disbelief in his eyes, and with deep sadness says, "This is what he said to me, it isn't my job."

"I have many dreams", he says, "I want to do a testimony of all that has happened in Iraq. I dream of doing many pieces. One will be a man with a kaffieh sprawled on the ground with a US soldier's foot holding his head to the ground. Offending him in front of his whole family, his wife, his children. I saw this with my own eyes. Another would be an Iraqi woman searched by a male US soldier. His hands were all over her. In our culture unfamiliar men do not touch women. It simply is not done. Couldn't a female soldier search her? Why humiliate her in front of her husband? She was crying, she couldn't do anything. I want to document this. Create symbols for people to remember. Yes I have many dreams." As with any great artist, Mohamed Ghani's art transcends the personal and speaks of an entire cultures suffering.

Sitting opposite us, Mohamed speaks animatedly, waving his arms to emphasize his points. "I don't like politics. I don't like to be a politic man. Never in my life have I been a politic man. You have to be a big, big liar. And what about your President? He says God told him to go to war. In this age? Is this possible? Which God? The God I worship loves, he does not hate. Can it be God told him this? How?"

Asked what he would say to an American audience, he said he would ask a simple question, "Why did you destroy our country? You could have had everything. You could take the petrol. You could have taken Saddam- you put him there, why couldn't you just take him away and put someone else there? Without all the killing, without all the bombs. Why the bombs, bombs, bombs? Why? I lost a daughter after the bombing. The doctors couldn't identify her illness, they said they had not seen it before."

"I am not a politic man. I am an Iraqi man and I feel what has happened and I say what I feel. An American general knows nothing about Iraq. We love to sing and dance and make music. This is true throughout our history. We have a culture. Iraq can not be destroyed. Like the grass, the more you cut it down, the stronger it grows. As he says this Mohamed Ghani looks tired. We have taken enough of his time- he has dreams to realize.

Ghosts

As i write this it is late afternoon at a small art foundation in Amman. I sit in the garden with a small fountain in the center and the last of the jasmine cascading down a wall. A butterfly stands immobile on a flower. I look closer to see if it is alive it opens its wings once, and then remains still. I sit at a small stone table directly outside a building that houses and art installation by Jane Frere called "Return of the Soul". Ms. Frere was moved to examine the Palestinian Nakba after visiting Nazi concentration camps. The "Return of the Soul" focuses on the act of remembering. As part of the installation Ms. Frere recorded interviews with Palestinians who were recalling their exodus from Palestine in 1948. Their voices echo throughout the room and escape out into the garden where i sit. As the sun sinks to the horizon a cool breeze stirs. Sitting in the peaceful garden i am slowly surrounded by ghosts of other peoples uprooted from their home and forced into exile.

I reflect for a moment on all the technological advances over the last two dozen years, the tracing of the human genome, computer technology, cell phones, satellite technology and the internet. The huge advances we have made in medicine and science and the backwards steps we have taken in warfare. Smart bombs, drones, depleted uranium munitions.

Then the Palestinian ghosts remind me, "I fled barefoot with my three year old sister on my shoulders." "We ran from the house with nothing, I thought we would return home in a matter of days." "They rounded up my brother and uncles, we never saw them again." "We walked for eighteen hours, until we dropped from exhaustion." They are joined by the ghosts of Vietnam. "My daughter was covered in napalm, she died an agonizing death." "The helicopters circled the village, killing anything that moved." "Our village was burned to the ground, nothing survived." "We fled barefoot, through the night." The ghosts of World War II chimed in. Talking of the cattle cars and suffocation, the round ups, woman pulled from their children, the mass graves, the hissing gas filling the chamber as woman cried out in anguish. Then the voices of millions of Africans joined in. Until today they are on the move, searching for food and security and an end to violence. Voices from "good" wars and "bad" wars all cried out, a chorus of pain and fear.

But their song was not empty or hopeless. Their song was a song of remembrance, dedicated to those who remain and strive to end war as a tool of governments. A song of remembrance dedicated to those who strive to end the production of more powerful weapons of destruction and dislocation. A song of remembrance sung to those who would shift their minds from living lives in fear of scarcity and selling this delusion to the world along with our bombs, bullets, and guns.

Then i thought i was dreaming because i imagined for a moment that we immediately and unconditionally ended our cold hearted occupation of Iraq and spent the 1.3 billion dollars (or whatever this weeks absurd tally amounts to) per week on peace- On clean water, food, electricity, education and rebuilding all we have destroyed. What then? Forgive me, for now i am delving into fantasy. But perhaps for a moment we could allow the ghosts of war a moment of peace. And what if this crazy idea took hold around the world and human beings could focus just for one moment on providing instead of destroying? The one thing life affords us free of charge and in abundance is love. All the sages speak of it, honor it, and develop a capacity to nurture it. It is not necessary to deprive one single sentient being in order to obtain it. Love's supply is limitless and not a single being needs to change in order for you to express it. It's benefits are immediately apparent to anyone who is willing to share it.

I hear a child laugh out loud. Startled, I look up. The voices are silenced. A breeze rustles through the jasmine as night falls. A man gestures to me that it is time to go. I step out into the busy street as a gentle rain begins to fall.

Youth Trapped in Jordan

Of all the refugees in Jordan, perhaps the most forgotten are the young men aged 18-35 who are here without family. As teenagers and young men they left home to escape the madness that had overtaken their neighborhoods. Many have had family members attacked, many have been threatened. There entire lives have been of conflict and war. They lived in Iraq as children growing up during sanctions and young adults through the invasion and occupation of their country. They watched as the social fabric of their communities collapsed and militias took over their neighborhoods. Many entered Jordan illegally and have no passport, no papers, no documents whatsoever. Since they arrived they have been targeted by police and taken advantage of by unscrupulous employers.

They are last in consideration for resettlement as they are not considered an “at risk” population like single women or families with children. They are not the face of “refugees” that we in the West feel personal gratification for helping. Rather, in the eye of many westerners they are associated with those we call “terrorist”. They are trapped between a rock and a very hard place.

Many had been here for several years before the UNHCR would grant them the paper declaring they are asylum seekers. This gives them some protections against being deported back to Iraq. When I asked them what they did while waiting, they said they have been hiding. When I asked how they survived, they said they can occasionally find part time work, but being in the country illegally they were paid minimally when they were paid at all. Several recounted scenes where after working, the manager merely told them to leave. If they wanted payment they could report him to the authorities. Having worked with immigrant populations in the US, this was a familiar story to me.

Now work is very hard to find and many of these young men haven't worked in weeks. It is illegal for Iraqis to work in Jordan without residency papaers. People in Jordan tend to look at young single men as dangerous, perhaps even more so if they are from Iraq. This poses a huge problem for Jordan, yet it is a problem that no one is willing to look at. A self fulfilling prophecy is being created. There is a breaking point for any human being, when self respect has been destroyed, when one is not allowed to work in order to feed oneself and no aid or support is forthcoming from the community. What possibility remains?

I had an opportunity to sit with 9 of these young men and listen to their stories. Several requested that we not record their personal circumstances. The situation has become so hopeless that one young man said they have been considering turning themselves in to the police so that they would be deported back to Iraq (they can’t afford the return trip on their own), where, invariably, they have been targeted for death. Another young man who did not want his story told said that they all held many things inside that they could not or would not share, that life was very difficult. As with young men the world over, no one said they were afraid.

Hitham, 26 yrs old
Entered Jordan illegally in May 2004 when he was 22 yrs old without any family. His mother and brother tried to enter Jordan at a later date but were denied. His family is in a very difficult situation in Iraq. Grandfather and father were arrested under Saddam’s regime, both have since passed away. His uncle and brother joined the Baath party under duress. When the regime fell militias targeted his family. His home was destroyed, his mother was shot, and his brother was beaten so severely that he can no longer walk. His mother and brother are now with family friends in a different village. The people responsible for bombing his house are now part of the government and if he returns he will be targeted for death. Applied in 2007 to the UNHCR, no specific interview was scheduled to date. Not receiving any allowance. Lives with 5 other single men in very difficult situation. Refugee status still pending.

Atheer, 22 yrs old
Entered Jordan in May 2004 when he was 18 years old without any family. His family remains in Iraq. Father was working in Baath party and once the regime fell his family was targeted by militias. He arrived without passport but with ID from American forces. He received the UNHCR paper seeking refugee status in Sep 2007. He has not received an interview and cannot get through on the phone to speak with anyone. He is receiving an allowance of 40 JDs (about $53) per month as of September. He lives with 5 other young men in very difficult circumstances.

Sabah, 28 yrs old
Entered Jordan in April 2004 when he was 24 years old without any family. His father, mother, 1 brother and 2 sisters remain in Iraq. He received the UNHCR paper seeking refugee status in May 2007. He has not received an interview. Protection unit promised resettlement at that time but they have not contacted him since. He came to escape the violence that had overtaken his neighborhood. He saw many people who had participated in the Baath party killed by militias. He is not receiving an allowance at this time. He lives in a house with 5 others in difficult circumstances.

Saad, 21 years old
Entered Jordan in July 2004 when he was 17 without any family. His mother and 2 sisters remain in Iraq. His father was a member of the army and was shot by the militia. Saad was targeted and threatened as well. His father was refused entry into Jordan and is now in Syria. The family has lost contact with him. Saad received the UNHCR paper seeking refugee status in Oct 2008. He has not received an interview. He can not return to Jordan as his life is threatened. He is not receiving an allowance at this time. He lives in a house with 5 others in difficult circumstances.

As we prepared to leave, one of the young men said with a smile, “Please tell the UNHCR that if they do not help us, we will kill ourselves.” Several of the other young men laughed. I grimaced and hoped against hope that the last laugh was not on them. It seems these young men are only seeking an opportunity to support themselves and their families. They are searching for an opportunity to live with dignity and respect in a world that seen through young Iraqi eyes has a huge deficit in both.

Abu Ra'ad and family

Abu Ra’ads luck was changing. After two and a half years his families bags were packed, his furniture sold, his lease broken. He was scheduled for a September 9th flight to Salt Lake City where his cousin had rented him a home, enrolled his children in school and found him a job translating for other Iraqis resettled in the city. Quietly he was saying goodbye to friends and family. On September 4th he received a phone call. It was from the IOM (International Organization for Migration). The caller did not identify themselves. He informed Abu Ra’ad that their departure was cancelled. They gave no explanation or time frame for rescheduling and abruptly hung up.

Abu Ra’ad nearly had a heart attack. He called the IOM back and finally was told the cancellation was due to the fact his security clearance had expired. Again, the person on the phone didn’t identify himself. He didn't tell him how long the clearance would take; he told him they would call back. Um Ra’ad, Abu Ra’ads wife, became ill. His daughter was taken to the hospital for anxiety, the stress too much to bear for the young woman.

Abu Ra’ad was working as a translator for the UN and a subcontractor with the coalition forces when he was kidnapped at gunpoint from a street in Baghdad. He was asked if he was the "UN Man". His captors beat him viciously, they degraded and humiliated him. They taunted him, saying, "You are a Christian, you don't need anymore children." He was being held for $50,000 and a list of all the people he worked with at the UN and with the coalition forces.

Abu Ra’ad negotiated with his captors, explaining that his wife would not be able to get all of the money and he needed to access his computer to get the list of names. His wife sold family jewelry and other precious items and $10,000 was delivered to the kidnappers. After 4 days Abu Ra’ad was released and told to get the rest of the money. Two days later gunmen arrived at his home. He stalled and the gunmen said if they returned and he could not pay, they would execute his son 8 year old son in front of him and his wife. Early the next morning Abu Ra’ad, his wife and three children packed and fled to his sister-in-laws home near the airport. They escaped to Jordan in February 2006.

Once in Jordan he immediately applied to the UNHCR seeking refugee status. He seemed a likely candidate for quick approval. He had worked for the coalition forces and the UN. He had been kidnapped, tortured, and his son's life was threatened. After one year, the UNHCR recognized him and his family as refugees and transferred his file to the IOM (International Organization for Migration) in May of 2007. He and his family attended all meetings and interviews and the medical testing was completed. Yet when he received the reply to his application in October of 2007, the decision was marked "Deferred". He understood that the sticking point was the ransom that his family paid for his release. And on that point he seemed luckier than most. In his last interview his inquisitor had questioned why a ransom was paid. Why had the family supported terrorism? This is a standard question asked of anyone who had paid a ransom to have a loved one released. Many Iraqis are denied their applications for "Credibility Issues" due to the answer given to these 2 questions. Why did you pay a ransom? Why? Why did you support terrorism? Why? Can you imagine? Kafka at his best couldn't come up with this scenario. Abu Ra’ad laughs when he sees the astonishment on my face. His wife cries. "It's true!" he exclaims, and I laugh too.

It is guessed that his application was not denied outright because of his many years of service to the UN, the very organization who deferred his application. It is a guess because no one at the agency will tell give him an explanation.

Finally, in July 2008 the IOM notified him that his family was granted refugee status in the U.S.A. and his file was reactivated with IOM where additional interviews and meetings were necessary. He was told in August of 2008 that a new medical clearance was necessary as the old clearance expired. He asked about the security clearance and was assured it was in order. As Abu Ra’ad and his family completed the final meetings with IOM their excitement was building. For the first time in years they allowed their imaginations to take flight. Finally, they could get on with there lives. Finally, he could return to work and provide for his family. Finally an opportunity was only weeks away.

As Abu Ra’ad retold his story we sat on the furniture he had to buy back at a premium. He negotiated a new lease with the landlord, paying an additional $50.00 per month once he convinced the landlord to allow him to stay. The stress and frustration are palpable. He says, "Everything has returned to the zero point, I have no hope." He can no longer obtain his blood pressure medication. A new highly touted program claims Iraqi refugees can get the same health coverage as any uninsured Jordanian. The only glitch is the clinic insists you go to the local police station to receive a stamp that proves you live in the neighborhood. Few Iraqis will do this because most have overstayed their visas and they "will be dumped at the border" if they go to the police station. So now he rations his remaining medicines.

The last time he called IOM asking for additional information, Abu Ra’ad was told not to call anymore. He was told to just shut up and wait. So he waits. He says, "This is not for me. I am fifty. I only want to get back to work to provide a chance for my children. Who will give me back these last two years?"

What are you doing here?

The night before last i was introduced to the regional director of a large international NGO in the region tasked to assist Iraqi refugees. She was dedicated, smart, to the point, and just cynical enough (forgive me, i assume) to protect her heart from breaking.

She challenged what i was doing here in Amman. Not in a negative way, but as an opportunity for discussion. Her approach in her work is a pragmatic one. She removes emotion and explains the benefits and positive outcomes that can be obtained by a specific course of action and she gets results. She felt what i was doing was the opposite of this. She felt that somehow i was sentimentalizing people's stories to make my audience feel guilty. She didn’t think positive change results from guilt, and I readily agreed.

She asked me how hearing people's stories would help. She was concerned with the Iraqis themselves. She wanted the Iraqi people she was working with to find the strength to move forward and felt that repeating their stories inhibited this. She felt that people repeating their stories would ingrain a sense of victimhood not only individually but collectively on the Iraqi psyche. Of course, as i continue to question the value of the work i am doing, this gave me pause. I explained i wanted the numbers and percentages we read about in the United States transformed into human beings. I think that statistics and pragmatism will not connect with everyday people who have had little contact with the refugee situation. If people don’t feel a connection, they don’t care.

As i slept on this it occurred to me that this is really an aside to what i am doing here. What i am experiencing here is really about one thing, relationship. I can sit at home and my relationship with the occupation of Iraq and Iraqi refugees is one thing. When i come here and actually sit with refugees and share tea with them and listen to their stories i am in a completely different relationship. As people tell their stories, they reveal themselves. i listen, a conduit for their expression. Whether they are expressing sadness, joy, guilt or hatred, it is pure. You can count on it. We don't always agree, but i can drop my opinion altogether, something usually very difficult for me. Being together in this way means something. Rather than seeing enemies or divisions, rifts and misunderstandings can be clarified. We see each other differently. We recognize our humanity. As i write, i try to convey this to a wider population. If i am lucky, people connect. Hopefully, rather than indulging victimhood in some small way these meetings encourage reconciliation.

Rada and her friends

Rada arrived in Amman along with two sisters, and her brother and his wife shortly after the regime fell. Her mother was killed from shrapnel from a bomb during the invasion. She left behind her father, a second brother and her eldest sister. Though they continue to be threatened they refuse to leave Baghdad. Since her arrival in Amman her two sisters have been resettled to the United States and her brother has returned to Iraq with his wife. She remains alone in Jordan.



Single woman are a particularly vulnerable population in the refugee community here. Rada left Amman and rented an apartment in a small village in the south where she felt safer in a quiet, less hectic neighborhood. She met Wafa and her daughter Eiman shortly afterwards. Wafa’s husband had returned to Mosul because of family members left behind, including his mother and two daughters from a prior marriage. They had fled Mosul four years ago. The family felt more and more threatened as various factions raided their home and fighting in the streets intensified. Their home had been bombed when Islamic militias attacked a liquor store in the neighborhood. Wafa said she could never return as long as the threat of violence remained. She couldn’t bear to see any more death and she couldn’t risk harm coming to her daughter.

One and a half years ago Rada began the process for resettlement. She has been approved for resettlement to the United States, though she has not received word regarding her security clearance. She yearns to be reunited with her sisters. Wafa has discontinued the resettlement process until she is reunited with her husband. He promised to return to Jordan, though it remains to be seen whether he can get back in.

The women are not receiving any aid. Because they are not in Amman it is very difficult to visit the UNHCR to find out what has happened to their assistance. They had been meeting with a representative near where they are living, but every time he sees them, he promises payment but nothing ever happens. Calls to the UNHCR go unanswered. The women have exhausted their savings and are uncertain how they will continue. Currently they help support themselves with a little sewing business they created. Recognizing they are alone, the community has also looked out for them by providing some food staples such as rice and sugar. They have done work to make the apartment livable and now the landlord comes by saying he would like to have it back. They are certain the rent will be increasing shortly. As winter approaches they do not know how they can afford oil for the small space heater they share.

“Our lives have stopped.” Rada explains, “Since the invasion, everything has just stopped. I was twenty-five then. Now i am thirty and alone. Everything stopped, even love between a man and a woman, because nothing is certain. Since then we eat and sleep and survive that is all.” “You don’t understand. Iraq is finished. Baghdad is dead. My home is finished. Even if i go back one day, it is not to what I knew. Baghdad can never be the same. “I can’t believe it still”, says Wafa. “I remember the minister of information, Mohammad Said Sahaf was on TV saying we have repelled the Americans, Baghdad is secure- even as the American tanks were arriving in the streets behind him. Now he lives in luxury somewhere, and what about us?”

Abu Diah and family

I find myself sitting in an internet café trying to get down some thoughts on a beautiful Iraqi family i met last night, all the while trying to tune out Fifty Cent singing about niggers and whores and what he needs to be satisfied. It can be disconcerting in the Middle East. The things I find most depressing about American culture are readily available here and do little to encourage understanding, co-existence and love. The rap music, the violent TV shows, the advocates of a consumer culture. It's all here. Yet people still have an image of America as a land of possibilities. And for people with nothing, America still holds hope, something the exiles from Iraq are in desperate need of.


Abu Diah, his wife and 6 children live in a 3 room flat in a poor section of Amman. They spend their days waiting. They have been approved for resettlement to the United States in March 2008. As spring has changed to summer and summer to fall, no final word has come as to when they will be told to leave, or where exactly they are going. Abu Diah has heard mention of Kentucky, Oregon or perhaps Miami. As far as the family knows, the delays are due to security issues, though they have no definitive information. Um Diah is concerned about the move, she asks, can her youngest boy play and make noise? She has been told that children in the US must be quiet. Abu Diah asks if we think they will be all right in America. I want to reassure them, but i don’t know what to say. i try to imagine what it must be like to be going to such an unfathomable place. Cathy, who i am working with in Amman, speaks of Abu Diah’s internal strength and tells them the love of their family will sustain them. i say that so much is dependant on where they go. They will face many challenges.

i imagine them dropped in Kentucky without a network of family and neighbors they can count on. You see, Abu Diah lost the sight in both eyes during the Iran Iraq war twenty years ago. His oldest son, seventeen year old Diah (i am told Diah means "light" in Arabic and the beauty and poetry of a man blinded by war naming his oldest child "light" does not escape me), has a 3rd grade education. The family is a traditional family- the women all wear the hijab. No one in the family is fluent in English. Imagine yourself for a moment in their circumstances. They were forced to flee Baghdad with little or no possessions. When they are finally notified, they will leave Jordan quietly and quickly with only 2 suitcases each and be relocated somewhere in the US with no family, no connections. What awaits them? Rumors and misinformation abounds. Imagine the uncertainty, the daily stress of not knowing when or where they are going, or how they will manage when they arrive. Every aspect of their living is tenuous. They have lost all control over their lives. How would you cope if you and your family were uprooted and dropped with nothing in a completely alien environment? As i photographed them i was moved to see their smiles, their joy, and their love for each other.

Um Diah tells us her elderly mother is not well. She has lost two sons to the violence and misses her daughter. Um Diah's only wish is to see her mother before she leaves, yet this simple wish will not come to pass. She cannot go back to visit her ailing mother before they leave. If she were to go back to Baghdad the Jordanian authorities would not allow her to return to Amman even though her family has been approved for resettlement.

When asked about the possibility of remaining in Jordan, where there is at least the common culture and the common language, Abu Diah is firm in his response. They must leave. They are not welcome in Jordan. As Iraqis, they are not permitted to work, they depend on monthly cash disbursements from the UNHRC that barely cover their expenses. The children, especially the boys, face discrimination from the administration and harassment from the other students at school. The present is full of uncertainty and the future in Jordan holds no possibilities. The United States, though alien, rekindles dreams and the hope of a brighter future. As i take my leave, i give them my phone number- perhaps when they land i can at least get them in contact with someone they could call "friend". i have an uneasy sleep considering the possibilities.

Bailout Bewilderment

The bailout plan has me bewildered. Do you remember back to last January there was a big debate about adding poor children to State Children's Health Insurance Program. Though it passed the House and Senate (don't forget, Democratically controlled), they couldn't muster enough votes to overcome George Bush's veto--- $12 billion dollars over 5 years was just too dang expensive to insure that kids could get to a doctor. (Never mind that "our representatives” and their families get full, free health coverage for their entire lives.) For years our public school teachers have paid out of their own pockets to provide supplies for their classrooms. Have you noticed- the poorer the neighborhoods, the more decrepit the schoolroom? i wonder why that is? Single mothers are told to "get a job" or go hungry- get off the dole we can’t afford to feed you. Old folks can't afford their medicine. Bridges are collapsing into the rivers of this country. Katrina refugees are placed in toxic trailers and left to fend for themselves. Yet when Wall Street banks face collapse due to their own greed, collusion, and immorality, hundreds of billions of dollars become available over night to shore up the financial system. Some decide to change the words- it’s not a bailout, it’s a rescue, but the actions remain the same. The bankers come to Capitol Hill in their limos and their thousand dollar suits, hand out and demanding the government act...do you remember when that kid (Graeme Frost) testified on the hill regarding the health insurance plan and our disgraceful leaders and members of the media claimed the kid wasn't poor at all- and his family was taking advantage of the system? Remind me- was he wearing a thousand dollar suit?

Why not rescue hungry kids, or rescue the homeless or keep people in their homes.... Over the last years we have created many first time homebuyers. Granted, the mortgages that were sold to them were faulty. Many were designed to fail. Millions of dollars of equity has been squeezed out of poor and middle class neighborhoods throughout America- another Katrina for certain- and the very folks we are now bailing out are the ones who benefited from this theft. But why not rescue the homeowners? After all, they believed in the American dream- were they merely rubes for the bankers and lenders?

And now the Presidential candidates are proclaiming they are going to "balance the budget" and "hard times are ahead"- code words to inform you and i that there will be even less money for your most urgent needs. i got news for them, hard times have been here for the majority of people in this country.... i'm just wondering when hard times will come to the Pentagon and the Defense Department- if the streets of NYC looked like Somalia do you think "our representatives” would feed us, or would they continue building bombs to protect the "American way of life"? When does freedom and the pursuit of happiness include all Americans- better yet, when does freedom and the pursuit of happiness include all beings? And why does the ”Love it or leave it crowd” so readily defend the swindlers and liars? And the major party candidates go on and on about who has your best interests in mind, desperately trying to convey they give a damn when all their actions prove otherwise.

So what to do? How does one confront the mendacity of our leaders and participate in our community in meaningful ways? It is quite easy to point out the hypocrisy of others because i divert my mind from the fact that we are partners in this dance. So i see the trap, i call it out, i fall in it anyway. It's like this- Each of us needs to stand up. Fear manifests in uncertainty and doubt. i stop. i acquiesce to the status quo- because it seems easier, and i like comfort, and spending beyond my means seems almost a necessity... Can i really drop out of the system that perpetuates the inequalities- or can i only talk about it? Standing up shifts everything- when i say "i can't do that"....where does it stop? i see it- but can i live it? Have i got the courage? i'm reminded of Mary Oliver's poem called "The Journey":

"One day you finally knew
what you had to do,
and began though
the voices around you
kept shouting their bad advice..."

These voices are my voices, and still they stop me. There is a zen koan, “How will you step forward from the top of a hundred foot pole?” i haven't yet stepped forward, though it beckons, no- it cries out, and i turn and fall back in the trap. Pressure builds as dissonance is swallowed. In this season, where the talk of hope and change is all the rage, let’s not forget that change only comes from within. And it begins with that first step.

Letter to Friends

Oct 1, 2008

Dear Friends,

As some of you know, i will be returning to the Middle East from Oct 18th- Nov 25th. i will be based in Jordan and will work with displaced Iraqi populations in both Jordan and Syria. i am hoping to do a documentary project, photographing families who have been displaced because of the violence in their country. As the economic crisis has widened in our country and presidential politics have become the daily staple of our news, we receive very little information about Iraq. The debate swirls around whether the surge has worked or not, and whether we can “win the war”. The candidates talk of American soldiers returning home with dignity, but there is no mention of the millions of Iraqi refugees forced from their homes and left destitute in camps throughout the Middle East. i hope to be a conduit for information so people may have a broader understanding of the results of our actions on the lives of the Iraqi people.

My friend Cathy, who has been working with the Iraqi people since before the invasion began, has been in Amman now for several months. Before she departed she asked friends, family, and supporters to raise money for the individual families she would visit in order to help them pay rent, buy food and basic necessities and in some small way, directly help the people she was involved with. Along with any contributions, she asked that they write a short note that she could deliver to the families so they would recognize the gift not as charity but an act of solidarity. i wish to continue this practice. It is my understanding that many refugee families have completely exhausted their finances. They are denied the opportunity to work by their host countries and have become increasing desperate to feed their families. Many are returning to Iraq not because the security situation has improved but because they have run out of options.

As always, i am also traveling on a very low budget. If you would be interested in supporting my work, that would also be graciously accepted.

Many of you have received similar requests from me in previous years, when our own economic situation may have seemed brighter. You have been generous in both words and action. Your gifts and prayers have been a huge support and allowed me to continue this work. I am grateful. In these difficult and uncertain times i hope this request can be viewed as an opportunity and not an imposition.


Thanks and peace, Johnny

Johnny Barber
PO Box 880043
Boca Raton, FL 33488-0043

30 hours in a DC jail

(This reflection was offered as part of the "messages of hope, wisdom, and worship" at the Palm Beach County meeting of the Spiritual Progressive Network Jan 19,08)

I hesitated when asked to participate in this service because time is precious and mine is not a message of hope or peace- i am here this morning to challenge you. As a zen student, my practice generally does not include prayer, but confrontation. This may seem a contradiction to those of you who know a bit about Buddhism, but it is not. Peace is not passivity and Peace is not necessarily calm. As a zen practitioner, i spend time in silence, left with only 2 questions -Who am i? What am i doing here? For one minute, i would like to sit with you in silence with this question. Who am i?

If you’ve come up with an answer, you’ll need to sit a bit longer!!!

I was asked to reflect on the environment, but last weekend i spent 15 minutes in the Supreme Court protesting the Guantanamo Bay prison camp and 30 hours in a DC jail, i’d like to reflect on that experience. 30 hrs in a DC jail is not very long, but it was long enough to know that places like Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo are not aberrations but are the very fruit of our immorality. It was long enough to recognize the unequivocal failing of our criminal justice system. It was long enough to reaffirm my inaction is complicity.

On Sunday, after i was released from jail i passed a homeless woman on the street. She said her kids were hungry, could i help her? I mumbled “No” and i turned away, instinctively clutching the few dollars in my pocket. Again i failed to recognize who i am. Again i was face to face with the prison of my mind.

More and more often this message infuses my day-to-day living. Who am i? What am i doing? I drink tea with those called “terrorist”, and call them brother. i walk with those called “illegal” and call them sister. I sit on this earth and call it “mother”. I act or i don’t act, and this, in the end, is who i am. I may have many cherished ideas, but if my actions do not mirror these ideas, then they are just hollow, meaningless concepts. I am not talking ‘bout sacrifice here, i’m talking about revolution. i’m talking about dropping the self-serving myths of our lives, shredding our concepts, and returning to our brothers, our sisters, our mother and reclaiming our souls. This turning begins here and now in conversation. But conversation is not enough. Clarification is not enough. Recognition is simply not enough. We must act- and we must act wholeheartedly and in community. This revolution, this turning, this returning, is my responsibility, and mine alone. This revolution is your responsibility, and yours alone. No one can do it for you, but we can do it together.

Hakuin in his poem “Song of Zazen”, tells us:
And if we turn inward and prove our True Nature, that
True Self is no-self, our own self is no-self, we go beyond ego and past clever words.
Then the gate to the oneness of cause-and-effect is thrown open.
Not two and not three, straight ahead runs the Way…
How vast is the heaven of boundless Samadhi!
How bright and transparent the moonlight of wisdom!
What is there outside us? What is there we lack?
This earth where we stand is the pure lotus land!
And this very body, the body of Buddha.

In everything you do, may you know peace.

Refugee

Many people are aware of the refugee crisis stemming from the war in Iraq- 2.5 million refugees have inundated Jordan and Syria and an additional 2 million people are internally displaced within Iraq. In response to these crises, we are often moved to donate to organizations that try to mitigate these disasters, but seldom do we have an opportunity to see refugees as a reflection of ourselves. What are missing are the personal stories for us to connect more deeply with this issue.

Americans have grown increasingly troubled by the news of the unending war on terror and are tired of the litany of fear that envelopes our leaders’ rhetoric regarding the world at large. There is a deep longing for compassionate action in this country, a deep yearning to reach out in a way to encourage understanding, respect, and love. I search for a way to bridge the divide cleaved between us as human beings. As a people we need to recognize our shared suffering and delve deeper into the repercussions of war.

After all, we are all refugees, moving across this landscape in the brief time allotted to us, exiled from our true self, searching for understanding, meaning, purpose and love. Our time here is uncertain, our circumstances tenuous. Here in the West we do everything we can to insulate ourselves from this truth. In doing so, we have become alienated from the natural world and from each other; we are convinced of our separateness. Because of this deep-seated dissonance we turn away from physical manifestations of exile, denying our responsibility in their creation, and refusing to consider the consequences of our perceived separation.

In a sense it is absurd to consider myself a refugee. Born into middle class “privilege”, American, white, well fed, educated, and housed. In saying this i am not comparing myself with people who are desperately trying to survive their dispossession. And yet, and yet, please hear me out, i am alien to this culture, i feel like an outsider, i feel other. i recognize something has been neglected and yet i don’t know how to return home. Lost. Disconnected. Caught in a culture of consumption that swallows everything whole this is an anguish that many Americans can relate to. This culture worships the individual, as if the entire world revolves around ourselves, and in doing so severs connections at home, in the workplace, and in the community. We have lost the connection to each other, and to the place we live. It is this very self-interest that is at the center of all divisiveness and the origin of conflict. Our minds have enormous capacity, our misguided self-interest greatly diminishes this capacity. We’ve lost touch, the very sensation that connects us to the world through our bodies. Losing touch we have lost perspective, and most of life is missed, though it is right in front of us. How do we regain this broader perspective, how do we reclaim that which we cannot even imagine we are missing?

Our belief systems have simply not left any room for not knowing, for mystery, or for people that do not think exactly like us. Yet, this is not the only possibility. i reflect back on my recent visits to the Middle East, speaking with a Lebanese father who with his bare hands dug his dead children from the rubble of a destroyed home; in Palestine tending a young boy, terror and pain etched on his face, who was shot by soldiers in the West Bank; and in Israel i listened as a father told the story of his soldier son killed in Lebanon in 2000. As i sat with these ordinary people caught in extraordinary circumstances, the power of their stories transformed me. i recognized the power of our willingness to hear each other and a bond was created. We welcomed each other into our stories, into the world we were creating in the moment.

As we delve into this matter of “refugee”, we will come to a deeper understanding of who we are, our hearts will welcome us home, and we will step forward to address these challenges with love. There is power in recognizing who we really are and the inherent possibilities of creating a world without suffering.

The Balm of a Peace Process Infuses The War on Terror/ The Terror of War

(A Lament)

Can we win the war on terror with the terror of war? Each time we declare we will win the war on terror, we dig ourselves a deeper hole. Each time we kill an innocent child on a city street and call it collateral damage, each time we torture and lie that we don’t- we add to the anger and hatred directed against us. Might as well be pointing the gun at our own temple. Way back when, we routed the Taliban in Afghanistan, the war lords regained control and heroin production shot through the roof…soon we’ll be needin’ another, bigger and better war on drugs- this war will have to be fought in the homeland… the collateral damage will be our very own kids. Not to worry, Blackwater is growing, and looking to diversify. And now the Taliban are resurgent and vowing a new fight. Hamid Karzai (our puppet from Unocal), bunkered down in Kabul, offers them a place in the government if only they refrain from killing. A Taliban spokesperson refused the offer- as long as America interferes in their homeland, they will not negotiate, though i am sure they were tempted by a Ministry of Agriculture position.

In Iraq we routed the Republican guard, shocked and awed ‘em to kingdom come, along with thousands of innocents- tens times the innocents lost on Sept 11th (at least), and still, we’re counting the multitudes of dead, (apparently they can’t build coffins quick enough), and hey, one had absolutely nothing to do with the other, c’est la vie, or better yet, Macht Nichts, it doesn’t matter, we kill ‘em there so we don’t need to kill ‘em here- we certainly don’t like the stench of death on our city streets, unless it’s self inflicted, oh Katrina!

We haven’t won the peace and democracy is impossible- carnage reigns in the cradle of civilization and our leaders continually parrot “Progress…Progress…Progress”. But progress is elusive- we still haven’t gotten the Iraqi’s to sign away their oil. Now even the Democratic frontrunners for President refuse to say they will bring the troops home.

And what rough beast slouches toward Babylon revisited.

...Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity...

...And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
(Yeats; The Second Coming)

War, War, War- talk of endless war- has there ever been anything else? Cluster bombs litter Afghanistan, Iraq, and Lebanon. Depleted uranium litters Yugoslavia, Afghanistan, and Iraq (and the lungs and bodies of men, women, and children- “ours” as well as “theirs”). Now onto Iran! Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the new Saddam Hussein is the new Osama bin Laden is the new Hitler is that old devil incarnate. But who are the children of Iran? Who are the children of Iraq? Who are the children of Afghanistan? Our smart bombs have pin point accuracy, yet always the children die. Have you seen the pictures? Oh, Smart Bombs!

(Aside: While we denounce Iran’s attempt to develop nuclear power, we sign a new contract with India promising delivery of nuclear material regardless of their efforts to further develop their nuclear arsenal. Oh, Hypocrisy! Oh, Mushroom Clouds on the Horizon!)

Ironically, the term “war on terror” was first coined in 1947 by newspapers describing efforts by the British colonial government to reign in terrorist attacks by Israeli gangs against Palestinians. The reign of terror continues. While the attacks against Israeli citizens get the media coverage, the Israeli military rains humiliation, violence, and terror on the Palestinian civilian population with impunity. And Ahmadinejad is the new Nasrallah is the new Arafat is the new Hitler, you get the picture. Over 20 children dead since June in the prison camp that is Gaza. And Israel threatens to cut off the water and electricity next.

(Aside: Did you know that Hitler originally planned to put the Jews on reservations in the Lubin area where their numbers would be reduced by starvation and disease? He got the idea from reading American history. In 1910 the US Department of Indian Affairs Superintendent wrote about "The Final Solution to our Indian Problem". Apparently Hitler appreciated how efficiently we dispatched our "problem".)

So Gaza is the West Bank is South Lebanon is Kabul is Baghdad is the new Warsaw Ghetto is the new Wounded Knee. It has been one endless Trail of Tears. Blast walls, check points, night raids and assassination. When will state terror = terror?

Yesterday our President denied a holocaust (for political expediency). Yet he implies the President of Iran is an international threat because he denies a holocaust (for political expediency?). Our democratic Congress, so concerned with a genocide from 1915 in Armenia, will perhaps one day have the courage to recognize the genocide that occurred right here, from sea to shining sea. In September the United States was one of four countries that voted no on the Declaration of Rights of Indigenous Peoples at the UN (which has been debated for over 20 years). Why? Because it went too far in giving indigenous peoples ownership of their traditional lands. Representative Sherman, a Democrat of California and a sponsor of the Armenian Genocide resolution said, "For if we hope to stop future genocides we need to admit to those horrific acts of the past." Forget about stopping future genocides, what about the one were are executing right now? (Please recall: the year was 1996, the program 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl (on U.S. sanctions against Iraq): We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it? Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it.) Five hundred thousand Iraqi children are dead due to sanctions. One million Iraqis are dead, and there are four million displaced people due to our illegal invasion. Perhaps we should examine the blood on our own hands, before we pick up historical stones. Oh, Repentance! Oh, Truth!

But hold on, here it comes, what we've all been waiting for: Yes, our President has called for a Peace Summit to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. What foresight, what compassion. Usually when our president talks of peace, more bombs fall. You know, to insure the peace. Not this time. Our very own self described “war president” deems it necessary that the Israelis and our puppet of the PA, “Abu Mazen” sit and talk peace, along with other undisclosed middle-east puppets. After all, haven’t the Palestinians been pushed about as far as they can go? What’s next, starvation? Oh, Hunger! After all, isn’t Abu Mazen prepared to sell the Palestinian people down the river, or in this case across the river? Oh, Treachery!

Did you see in the NY Times, (All the news that’s fit to print) Israeli Vice Prime Minister Haim Ramon has asserted that his government will support a partition of Jerusalem? (oh, and yes 2 Palestinians were killed in Nablus today). Maybe so, but the NY Times didn’t see it fit to print that on the same day they quoted Ramon, the Israeli Army authorized the confiscation of 1100 additional dunams (nearly 300 acres) of Palestinian land- you guessed it- in East Jerusalem, and yes, you guessed it, to expand a settlement. Up is down, freedom is occupation, war is peace. Oh, Mendacity!

Back in the summer, when President Bush originally called for this summit, former White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, "I think a lot of people are inclined to try to treat this as a big peace conference. It's not." Of course it’s not. If people are not yet clear on the matter, President Bush is not at all concerned with Peace, nor are the Israelis. Peace would require justice, would require de-colonizing the West Bank, would require returning stolen resources, would require self-determination for the Palestinian people, peace would require an equitable solution to the refugee question. None of this is forthcoming, none of this is “on the table”. President Bush is only interested in acquiesce to American power. Israel is only interested in acquiesce to Israeli power.

(Aside: And where is the next Mandela who is the new M.L.King who is the new Gandhi who is the new Jesus who is the new Buddha? And what of the women, why are their names forgotten or left unsaid? The smart bombs do not neglect them...and Hillary, i know you have the cojones to be king, and that is exactly why you will never win my vote. Where is the Mother’s embrace this world so desperately needs? Blessed are the peacemakers. Oh, Love!)

So where do we go, and what do we do? Go where you can and do what you must for justice. We must do what we can and not waiver. The townspeople of Bi'lin are a model- they have had over one thousand non-violent demonstrations to save their land and have been met by ongoing Israeli army violence, yet they reject violence and persevere. The monks and the student dissidents in Burma provide a model as well. Though brought down by violence they have not surrendered.
i read there is a document circulating inside Burma that reads as follows:
Afflicted by military dictator and lackeys
Shootings and beatings
My head is bloody
But unbowed.
(Burma's Struggle: The Avowed Against the "Atheists"
By Cynthia Boaz; Truthout.com Perspective Oct 12th, 2007)

Oh, Justice!
Oh, Peace!
Oh, Revolution!

For Seven Generations.

Die-in at the Capital

i returned to Washington DC yet again for the Sept. 15th march organized by ANSWER and the Iraq Veterans Against the War. After marching from the White House to the Capital, i participated in the die-in at the Capital. Once again, i was arrested crossing a police line as i followed IVAW members, numerous Veterans For Peace members and 165 or so concerned citizens (190 people were eventually arrested), who were intent on delivering a petition to Congress to end the war. Very little mention was made of this march in the mainstream media, and when it was mentioned at all, the facts were widely distorted. Sitting in jail, i had the opportunity to reconnect with several IVAW members as well as Vietnam Vets who i accompanied on the March to New Orleans in early 2006 (to connect the events in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina to the illegal occupation of Iraq). As our government continues to beat the drum for war, one can only hope that more citizens "die-in" to take a stand for peace.

9-11 Forgotten

The sixth anniversary of Sept 11th has come and gone, and Americans have forgotten the lessons of that fateful day. As the U.S. continues to lash out blindly in the Middle East, causing death and destruction everywhere it turns, we at home continue to wave our little flags, put metallic ribbons on our cars and call for support of the troops. That Americans are now responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths of innocent peoples- exponentially higher numbers than those killed in the towers- is a fact. Few people here recognize the level of carnage unleashed on the civilian populations of Afghanistan and Iraq. Few people seem concerned with the anguish of others as they try to survive the US military occupation of their countries. Few people recognize in the anguished eyes of the Iraqi people the very same fear, desperation, determination and heroism of the people who suffered on September 11th at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and in a flight over Pennsylvania.

In the days after September 11th we as Americans stood together, and reached out to each other. Much of the world reached out to us as well. In our grief and disbelief there was a moment to recognize community- not just the community of New York City, or even the community of our nation, but the community of humankind. For a moment, however brief, it seems we understood, we were clear, we recognized our commonality and we recognized our dependence on one another- on the streets of New York even perfect strangers could embrace each other and hold on for dear life. In the immediacy of the blasts, love and support came to the fore, not anger, nor hatred. But how quickly that was lost! Our so-called leaders immediately called for revenge. It had little to do with justice and even less with understanding. A shocked populace was easily caught in a destructive, unholy nationalism. Quickly we, and the world, were divided into two camps, those who were “with us” and those who were “against us”.

Six years down the road and our perceived enemies, including women, children, the aged and the infirm, continue to pay an incredible price. And this price will increase for years to come as the expense of using depleted uranium munitions, chemicals like white phosphorous, and cluster bombs is paid for with children’s lives. The war in Iraq is an abomination. An illegal and unjust war based on the lies and deceptions of our government. Now, we are told by General Petraeus that a premature withdrawal will have devastating consequences. What could be more devastating than the destruction we have already meted out?

Meanwhile, the ringleader responsible for planning the attacks on September 11th is alive and well, apparently in Pakistan. Bin Laden continues to use the ineptitude of the Bush administration as a recruiting tool. And the US is now threatening Iran. Greater disaster, greater death, greater destruction is promised on the road to "Peace". For all those who claim that America is safer today, that we are “fighting them over there so we don’t fight them here”, I return to General Petraeus’ dog and pony show on Capital Hill yesterday. When asked if our strategy in Iraq made us safer, the General uttered perhaps his only truth of the hearings, ”I don’t know, actually.”

On the anniversary of September 11th we are called to remember the innocent people who died and the heroes who answered the call to help, including the myriad cleanup crews who are now suffering lung disease and illness due to their efforts, and are largely forgotten. We are also called on to remember all the innocents that have died as a consequence of our retribution. One million Iraqis are dead- when will the killing be enough? In remembering, we are called to act. Stop for a moment, look into the eyes of an Iraqi, and recognize yourself. Their terror is our terror.

Then do something, anything, to stop this war.

The Sound of the Bell

Talk on Chapter 11; from "No Beginning, No End" by Kwong Roshi

"During the more intensive practice periods one of the things you will feel in the sangha is a kind of intimate bonding and communication. This communication is not based on our sitting around telling one another about our lives. It takes place almost without speaking, without touching, even without looking at one another. This intimacy manifests itself because of the awareness we bring to our activities. This presence is the manifestation of our Buddha nature. The communication expressed is pervasive, it includes everything."

On Wednesday evenings, we come together for discussions that may seem to be the opposite of this. We are asked to share experiences and aspects of our lives to communicate something, to give something. But these evenings are meant to be a part of the intimate communication- in spite of our talking. These meetings are not meant to be ‘off the cuff’ chats. Particularly during council practice, but also each evening, we want to create a sense of deep intimacy, transparency, and protection- nothing less than that which is created during intensive practice periods. It is a practice of the heart not the mind. Speaking from the heart we seek to use the stories of our lives to deepen our understanding. It is an opportunity to cultivate deep truth and deep listening. When we arrive, we should sit in silence for a few moments and use this silence as a border crossing from our busy lives to the intimacy of council, the intimacy of this space. Do not fear the silences or gaps that will present themselves. It is not necessary to ask someone to speak. The gaps need not be interrupted, they need not be filled. When these gaps arise, rest in them. This moment is Buddha birthing. Recognize the silence as nothing less than the communication of the mountains, the rivers, the butterflies and the stones in the garden.

The Sandokai “Each thing has its own intrinsic value.” Our translation says, “Each thing has its own being which is not different from its place and function.” It is in this very spirit that we approach our life. We realize the self within each activity because the self becomes the activity. We surrender the self to the activity. If our activity is listening, by listening with devotion to non judging and absolute tolerance we can listen with and in the speaker. No listener, just listening. If our activity is speaking, speaking from the heart and being lean of expression- delving to the very marrow of the matter- intimacy is created. No speaker, just transmission, water pouring over rocks. Another way of bearing witness, we reflect back to the speaker her own heart. This practice dissolves the false barrier between observer and observed, the barrier between you and me.

Kwong Roshi:
"The whole world is a single flower is just another way of saying san do kai.
“San” means "many."
"Do" means "same" or "together",“as one”.
“Kai” is a word that means "intimacy."
There is an intimacy that is beyond measure, between the one and the many. This is the big theme in Zen. "The whole world is a single flower" is the same conclusion: it is one. But how do you get to one? We must remember that the river within us longs to return to the ocean. And not just once, but many hundreds, thousands, even millions of times. When you arrive, the whole world is a single flower. San do kai."

In speaking of prostrations and the need to do them completely, Roshi states: Surrender with the body- the mind and breath are in accord. It is not meaningless ritual, it is a body teaching that orients you toward the path of the dharma, of giving birth to the Buddha. Surrender yourself completely to the task at hand- this is the complete spirit, attitude and understanding of zen. i do not know the reason behind each ritual we do in the zendo, i only recognize that each one is necessary and devote myself to doing them fully- with my body, with my heart. For example,when the speaker is finished we bow to each other. In this gassho is everything, our gratitude and respect fully offered. So when it is our turn to speak, we don't need to thank or compliment the speaker, we allow the gassho to be everything.

Young Morita’s father communicated to him that the spirit and attitude and understanding of zen is to give yourself completely to every activity. And as he rang the bell, it sounded with the inspiration and compassion of his father. The sounding of inspiration and compassion arose naturally, of itself. A manifestation of heartfelt practice. It was not preconceived, nor hoped for, nor decided upon.

The world comes to us “As it is” can we accept it without condition? Can we hear it, see it, smell, taste, and touch it as it is, without our judgments and demands? This possibility is the gift of our life and practice--To receive each moment as new, fresh, unencumbered by the past or expectations of the future. The world in its entirety presents itself over and over and over again. It never tires of my rejection, every moment it offers itself and asks nothing of me. Why do I wrap myself in Buddhas robes?

This is from a Transmission Speech of Zen Master Dae Gak (Guiding Teacher Furnace Mountain Zen Center)
a koan from Zen Master Man Gong:

"All Zen Masters say that in the sound of the bell they attain enlightenment, and at the sound of the drum they fall down. Anyone who understands the meaning of this, please give me an answer."

A student named Song Wol stood up and said, "If the rabbit's horn is correct, the sheep's horn is false." Man Gong smiled.

Zen Master Seung Sahn's comment: "If you cannot hear the bell or drum, you are free. If you hear both sounds you are already in hell."

This thinking mind, always comparing- how could you possibly know God? Intimacy breaks this habit of “one thing is better than another”. It is possible for us to be free from our conceptualization and our suffering. Surrender.

Master Seung Sahn's comment: "If you don't hear either sound, you are free; but if you hear either sound, you fall into hell."

Master Dae Gak: But what if you make the great mistake of falling into hell? What can you do? Of all the animals on earth, humans don't know what they are supposed to be doing. We have technological advancements that exceed our wildest expectations. We can walk on the moon. But, in the history of man there has never been a period without war. We live in conflict. We are attached to our opinions and ideas, the result being that our fellow beings are in a constant state of suffering. So if you fall into hell and are confronted by demons every day, what can you do?

This whole world is turning, turning, turning.
Before this world existed, there was only silence.
After this world disappears, only silence.

Silence before, silence after,
Then where does sound come from?

The sound the bell gives birth to the Buddha. Wakeup- this Buddha is you! What on earth are you waiting for?

(the bell sounds)

Listen, listen,
this wonderful sound brings me back to
my true home.

The sound of the bell is the voice of the Buddha calling us home, calling us back. Each of us has the capacity of the Buddha. When we hear the sound of the bell, we touch our true nature, the peace, love and joy within us.

(the bell sounds)

Body, speech, and mind held in perfect oneness,
I send my heart along with the sound of the bell.
May the hearers awaken from forgetfulness
and transcend all anxiety and sorrow.

(the bell sounds)

May the sound of this bell penetrate deeply
into the cosmos
so that beings, even those in dark places,
may hear it and be free from birth and death.
May all beings realize awakening and find
their way home.
Namo Shakyamunaye Buddhaya

(the bell sounds)

This Monday past marks the 62nd anniversary of the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima by our nation. Tomorrow marks the anniversary of the bombing of Nagasaki. It is not the last time we have used nuclear weapons. What can you do?

(the bell sounds)

Shadows

In the zendo in the early morning, i notice as the sun rises and streams through the windows throwing brilliant light and deep black shadows across the floor. As i sit, breath gently rising and falling, i notice weaving in and out of the light the shadows of butterflies. Only now, as i write, do i wonder the brilliant colors of their wings flashing in the sunlight. While sitting, i only notice the interplay of shadow and light, and the gentle rising and falling of my breath.

This morning i noticed that the butterflies were dancing inside my head, throwing shadows on my skull while they were simultaneously dancing outside the windows and on the floor before me.

This has left an impression. Have you ever been walking in brilliant sunshine and a bird crossing the sun suddenly sinks you in shadow? Startled, you search the sky. It reminds me of hearing the sound of F-16’s ripping across the heavens. My heart racing, i look up, searching and wondering what comes next.

All day the dancing butterflies inside my head have passed behind my eyes and in that instant everything falls to black. My heart cries out, all is lost. Just as suddenly the shadow is lifted, light pours in and all is illumined.


©Johnny Barber 8/4/07

On the 7th Day, Isreal Built

By most accounts it was a phenomenal day in the history of Israel. No longer the little nation surrounded by enemies, the David vs. the Arab Goliath, Israel was the victor in a lightning quick war that routed three Arab armies, and changed the political landscape of the Middle East. Overnight Israel controlled the entire former British Mandate of Palestine. The sweet euphoria that enveloped Israel that summer in 1967 and that is being celebrated this past week has been supplanted by the tragedy of forty years of occupation of the territories conquered during those six days.

On June 10th, 1967, one million Arabs came under the control of Israel in the West Bank, Gaza and the Golan. Villages were razed, entire communities were rounded up and exiled, and an estimated 300,000 people became refugees in Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan. This was the 2nd exodus for the Palestinians. In 1948 upwards of 700,000 refugees fled the fledgling state of Israel to camps in Gaza and the West Bank. At first, the occupation of territories seized during the war was considered temporary. In July 1967, the first settlers arrived in the Golan, and the settlement movement of Greater Israel was actualized. From that fateful day, as journalist Gershom Gorenberg makes clear, “the purpose of settlement has been to create facts on the ground that would determine the final status of the land.” Today, over a quarter of a million Israelis live in colonial outposts (“neighborhoods” and “settlement blocks” in the language of occupation) throughout the West Bank and these settlements continue to expand, appropriating additional land and resources as they grow.

Of course, like the Europeans before them, and like America today, In 1967 Israeli’s leaders thought of themselves as enlightened occupiers. Whether this was self-deception or merely propaganda to “sell” the theft of land and resources to it’s own citizenry and the international community it is hard to discern, but as resistance to subjugation grew the tactics of control grew harsher. Forty years down the road, victory is hardly recognizable, peace illusive.

Israel’s security has become the first and foremost consideration, in fact, the only parameter by which we are allowed to judge the situation. Any mention of the suffering of the Palestinians, any mention of the injustice done to the Palestinians in the Occupied Territories- the dispossession, the massacres, the home demolitions, the oppression- is met with derision, threats, slander, and claims of anti-Semitism. In 2007, terror trumps all.

Each and every act of violence perpetrated by Palestinians is framed as terrorism, committed by people without conscience, people taught to hate from birth, people who hate democracy, people without a moral compass, the personification of evil itself, people who can not be reasoned with, and after all, “We Will Never Negotiate with Terrorists!” Terror. Terror without reason, completely separated from history, without any possible cause.

These claims are closely followed by the lament, “We have no partner for peace.”

Each and every violent act perpetrated by the state of Israel is framed as a strike against terror, no matter that the electric power plant was destroyed- collective punishment for entire communities; no matter that the perpetrator was a child throwing stones at a tank; no matter how many women and children are killed, no matter that the wall divides your land and steals your resources. No matter. Security is paramount. Terror must be defeated. We have no choice. State sponsored violence is righteous, necessary, and the Palestinians have brought it on themselves. (If only there was a partner for peace!) State sponsored violence is the only answer.

The misconception that peace is only possible by military victory, destroying your enemies at any cost and projecting strength "in a dangerous neighborhood" holds sway not only in Israel but America as well. The deeply held fear and the untenable anxiety of the citizenry, ratcheted to ever higher levels by those who are expected to govern and lead, traps us in a vicious cycle. The rhetoric of righteous violence corrupts all that it touches. In this atmosphere, neither “side” is a valid partner for peace. And citizens, both Israeli and Palestinian, are fodder for their politician’s disingenuous posing and ineptitude.

Forty years down the road, the “road map” is shredded, the idea of a “peace process” exposed as an illusion. The West Bank is divided up into cantons separated by walls, by-pass roads, settlements, and military checkpoints. The Palestinians are on the verge of civil war. Chaos, poverty, and destruction reign in the territories. 8000 Palestinians including women and children are in Israeli prisons, many held without charges. The Israeli government is ineffectual, weakened by the war with Lebanon, (yet another war that was forced upon Israel). We are faced with the monumental political folly of all sides, the absolute failure of all parties to seek justice in a framework of true reconciliation and atonement. Extremists on all sides are increasingly vocal and gaining strength. The rhetoric of violence, retaliation, and retribution grows louder. Storm clouds gather. A generation knows nothing more than occupation. The euphoria has dissipated on the wind. Victory has never seemed so shallow a concept.


©Johnny Barber 6/7/07

The Tortured Lives of Torturers

i read "The Tortured Lives of Interrogators", an article published on June 3rd in the Washington Post and was struck by many things. The first question that i raise is why the sympathetic coverage of people who torture? Would one of Saddam's interrogators have been talked about in such an understanding way? How about one of Arafat's? Or one of Mubarak's, Assad's, or Ahmadinejad's? How about one of Hitler's torturers? How about any of the torturers that acted with impunity in Argentina, Chile, Brazil, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, or Paraguay during the Reagan years - they were trained and supported by us, they were on our "side" weren't they? (i'm certain these torturers have a few funny anecdotes to share ala the Israeli interrogator in the article) If they are not worthy of equally sympathetic coverage, we must ask ourselves, "Why not? Why is one of "ours" more worthy of sympathy, compassion, and empathy?"

Ah, yes, "the good fight for democracy and freedom" demands it of us. Demands that “patriots” consent to diminish their humanity because we are fighting the good fight, whereas these "others" are less than human, "evil-doers", devils and worse. All of these are rationalizations, all are unworthy arguments. Torture, for whatever reason, is a deplorable abomination in our world- and no rationalization makes it justifiable, worthy, or admirable.

The article claims, "The border between coercion and torture is often in dispute." Legally, the Geneva Conventions, the UN Convention on Torture, and US Law are quite clear about torture, the border clearly delineated. It is only since the Bush administration's twisted legal rationales on torture came into play that this border has suddenly become blurred. i would dare say, that each of these men know very clearly what moral boundaries they crossed as they delved into torturing other human beings and this, irregardless of the laws in place, is precisely why they suffer.

The comment by Darius Rejali, an expert on modern torture, "Nothing is more toxic than guilt, which is typical with democratic interrogators. Nazis, on the other hand, don't have these problems." is an outright fabrication and further fuels the propaganda machine that drives the divisions of self and other, good-doers (us) and evil-doers (them). Human beings suffer from guilt. All human beings, regardless of ideology. Those that torture, like the Nazis, and like the Israeli, Sheriff, survive by cutting away parts of their humanity- as he said himself, "I've got a clean conscience because I rarely use it." This diminishing of the human spirit diminishes us all.

Perhaps the Washington Post could follow up with an article that includes interviews of the people who were tortured at the hands of these men. Even more useful would be to convene a truth and reconciliation circle between these men and their victims. As was shown by the South Africa Truth and Reconciliation Committees, we can go a long way to regaining our lost humanity by looking one another in the eye and sharing our stories, pain, and common humanity.

Of course, the moral high ground that Americans hold in these matters has always been nothing more than an illusion. We have outsourced torture techniques to third world countries for dozens of years (training at the School of the Americas and Fort Huachuca, Ariz amongst many others) and our proxies have learned their lessons well. Now that these techniques have been exposed (again), honorable human beings must stand up and demand change. i feel deeply for the interrogators, and i feel deeply for all the victim's they tormented. i hope each of them find a way to recover all they have lost. The burden each of us carries is heavy. May each of us find a way to ease this suffering and be at peace.

The original article can be found at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/03/AR2007060301121.html


©Johnny Barber 6/6/07

The Expanding Universe

Friends,

This morning I read the attached article in the NY Times, which to me, is simply an amazing piece...conjecturing what human beings or other future inhabitants will be able to determine about the universe billions of years from now. What folly, what arrogance, what blindness we suffer. The author is saddened because humans will not be able to tell that the universe is expanding. He thinks we "know something" that other astronomers will miss in 100 billion years.

There is a great line: James Peebles, a Princeton cosmologist, said there are more pressing worries. We might be headed toward a universe that is “asymptotically empty,” he said, “But I have the uneasy feeling that the U.S.A. is headed into asymptotic futility well before that.” (like a couple billion years before that, perhaps, like now maybe???)

As my practice seems stifled and even withering, this article brings me to a new level of incomprehension. How we fill our lives with "knowing", "understanding", and "teaching", in order to escape the reality of the emptiness we are faced with- not 100 billion years from now, not tomorrow, but right now, this very moment (and which is indeed our birthright and our “redemption”). How desperately I try to convey what I know, what I’ve seen, what I’ve experienced. How I strive to create something that expresses “who I am”. How I search for someone who “understands” or “recognizes” me. And how I nod in appreciation when Nancy says, “The apple never falls far from the tree!” when she is commenting on how much my son is like me (and she is usually not applauding my “better” attributes!)

It's funny, really, that I should read this Times article now, after i've spent the morning with an issue of Aperture magazine (number 95 Summer 1984) called “Minor White, A Living Remembrance”. He stressed concentration and awareness in his movement through life and in the creative process- returning to right now, this present moment. Connecting to Minor White's ideas of photography- the capturing of surfaces but then using the resulting image to delve deeply inward, beyond the surface, leading ultimately (if the photo is good and the viewer receptive) to evoke the unity or the co-arising nature of our lives. I hope this is exactly what my images of people in Lebanon, Palestine, and the Gulf Coast are useful for- to evoke an physical, visceral response, to feel it in your bones or muscles or organs and then to step beyond the feeling of the emotional state that is aroused into what I would dare call the “soul” or “spirit” of our lives. But does this, in fact, bring us closer to any "truth"? When the search for this truth or the attempt to express it reaffirms how “smart” we are, how "in tune" we are, or how deep our "deep understanding" flows, (whether this reaffirmation is consciously or unconsciously manifested), we just delve so much further into our own ignorance and delusion. For some, this trap is never recognized. Perhaps, at least, they die happy, feeling they have "achieved" something. For me, the ache just deepens.

The Buddha said he taught just one thing, that there is suffering and an end to suffering. How I hope to learn that lesson well!

Love, JB

NY Times article can be found here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/05/science/space/05essa.html?ex=1338696000&en=1534d957437196d6&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

To Judge King Upon Conviction

March 26, 2007

The Honorable Rufus King III
Superior Court of the District of Columbia
500 Indiana Ave NW
Washington, DC 20001

Dear Judge King,

I was convicted in your court on March 14, 2007 for crossing a police line on the grounds of the Capitol on September 26, 2006. Enclosed is your order to pay $50.00 in Compensation to the Victims of Violent Crime by April 16, 2007. i am writing to you to notify you that i refuse to pay the assessment and i will briefly explain my position on the matter.

In your judgment against us on March 14th you claimed that your personal viewpoints were irrelevant and your position as a judge means you must stick strictly to the law. You also stated it was not the job of the court to second-guess the police in setting up a police line. As I stated in court (with appropriate references to previous DC appeals court decisions) it is exactly your duty to review the appropriateness of decisions leading to establishing a police line, especially when first amendments rights are at stake, especially on the grounds of the Capitol, the very “seat of our Democracy”. Obviously, whether you adequately considered this is a matter for the Appeals court to determine. Regardless of that outcome, i believe that i have a duty and a moral obligation to bring to Congress my concerns of the immoral and illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq. Whether this is through the use of a symbolic coffin with the names of the dead scrawled upon it, or numerous letters, phone calls, or visits to congressional offices, the duty remains. i am bound to this duty through my humanity. It is a duty that i cannot abrogate.

During my most recent visit to the Cannon office building, (the day after my conviction), a friend stated, “I used to condemn the citizens of Germany for doing nothing while their government slaughtered millions of their countrymen and woman, and now I see how it can happen.” As a citizen and a human being I cannot allow the killing of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis to continue under the guise of bringing freedom or democracy to Iraq while our Congressional leaders remain insulated and isolated in the halls of Congress.

Dear Judge King, in court you stated (forgive me for paraphrasing) that you appreciated our sincerity, dedication, and non-violent means. This is simply not enough without appropriate, lawful, and just decisions on your behalf.

I have traveled to Iraq, Palestine, and Lebanon in order to better inform American citizens of the effect of our government’s policies on the people of these regions. i have traveled to the Gulf Coast to volunteer (along with the Iraq Veterans Against the War and Veterans for Peace) in the rebuilding efforts that my government has so dismally failed to provide. i have done my best to share with people what I have learned of peace and love, i have done what i could to help. i do not share this with you in an attempt to impress you. i share this with you because it shows change is possible. In fact, your honor, i submit i have committed a crime. i have failed to do enough to stem the bloodshed perpetrated in my name.

The effects of our government’s criminal behavior can be seen not only in the Middle East but right here at home. As billions are poured into the “war on terror”, our fellow citizens do without. They do without adequate food, adequate shelter, adequate medical treatment and adequate education. Everyday people at home and abroad are suffering as a direct result of our government’s policies.

I cannot continue to pay into a system that perpetuates this injustice under the guise of the “rule of law”. i have seen an elder woman made to clean the streets of DC, her “community service” for daring to sit in front of the White House. i have seen Franciscans, rabbis, and priests handcuffed for hours for approaching the Capitol building. i have seen concerned citizens arrested for voicing their anger in hearing rooms across the Capitol. Yet our government officials continue unabated in their criminal enterprise. When our Constitutional rights are abridged by arbitrarily imposed regulations and the result is the continuing enrichment of our government leaders at the expense of our fellow citizens and human beings around the world, i simply must refuse to cooperate. Silence and acquiesce is complicity.

If you deem it necessary to further expend resources on this matter, please feel free to respond, I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Peace to you and yours,

Johnny Barber

Support the troops.

On Valentines Day my son was asked to make a valentine’s card to send to the soldiers in Iraq as part of a “support the troops campaign”. He declined and told his buddies, "You shouldn’t do that, I’m not going to do it, the troops do nothing for me.” This remark incensed his after school councilors, and Cosmo was placed at the “time out” table in the front of the auditorium. (Though I was assured by the councilors that he was not being punished.) I spoke to the administrators, supporting my son’s stance, and thought the incident was water under the bridge, until an administrator chose to single me out and give me a letter of thanks from the local police department that organized the “Support the Troops Campaign”. What follows is my response.

February 27th, 2007

Dear Ms. Frederick,

I am in receipt of the letter provided JCC from Kathleen Andrews of the Plantation Police Department thanking you for organizing the “Support the Troops” campaign. I am not quite certain why you deemed it necessary that I should be singled out to receive this letter, but I would love to revisit this topic in more detail. Thank you for providing me with the opportunity.

As I write this, over 3000 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq, upwards of 60,000 have been maimed, countless others have suffered deep psychological scars that will remain with them for their lifetime. Over 600,000 Iraqis have been killed, (not including the 500,000 children who died during the Clinton years and sanctions) millions more maimed, untold numbers have been poisoned by depleted uranium, and will suffer for generations to come. Who knows how many have suffered psychological trauma, no one is keeping count of this statistic. Millions are displaced, homeless, without means to support themselves or their families. Four years into this occupation, millions more have been sickened by drinking dirty water. The lack of doctors, lack of medicine, lack of necessary medical equipment and the lack of electricity have all contributed to this catastrophe, and now, even food is a major issue. (Where exactly do you suppose the 100’s of billions of taxpayer dollars that have been poured into this quagmire have ended up? Certainly not in the rebuilding of Iraq, nor in the “support of our troops”, who are still lacking in even the most basic gear critical for their survival- though a McDonalds can be found in the Green zone.)

As you may or not may not know, the vast majority of the Iraqi casualties are children, woman, elders, and other non-combatants. I won’t begin to guess how many of these casualties come directly at the hands of our troops. But I will say this- unequivocally- their deaths are the direct result of an immoral American foreign policy, and each of us, as American citizens, carry this burden and this responsibility.

One thing Kathleen Andrews fails to address in her letter is the sense of abandonment our troops feel because they have been abandoned by our government. They are ill equipped (lacking basic armor for their Humvess as well as the proper vests for themselves) on a mission that seems pointless, if not reckless. Nor does she address the fact that they feel abandoned because many are on their 3rd or 4th tour, with no end in sight, and even less progress to show for their sacrifice. I would propose that if people are serious about supporting our troops, they take a minute, or an hour, to write to their Congress people demanding action- proper equipment, proper training, limited deployments, and a mission that has clear objectives and goals. Perhaps the best support one could offer is a demand that our troops end the occupation and return home. Far from “negativity”, as Ms. Andrews would describe it, this would show a true concern for our men and women in harms way.

Once home, perhaps we could demand that they get the care they need- especially for the psychological trauma they suffered while in the war zone. Perhaps you are familiar with the story of Jon Schulze, a US Marine from Minnesota, who recently committed suicide after being turned away from a VA Hospital, even though he told them 3 times in as many days, that he was suicidal. He was found hanging from a rafter in his basement. His case is far from an isolated incident. I personally know vets who are a hairs breadth away from killing themselves and the only help they get from the VA is prescription drugs. So, perhaps we should get serious about what constitutes “supporting the troops”.

One thing you have mentioned repeatedly is that Cosmo is “just a boy”, implying that he shouldn’t have an opinion about these matters and he should just do what he is told. I disagree completely. One thing I have impressed upon him is that in the face of injustice, silence is not an option. Even though he is “just a boy”, I am thankful that he had the courage to speak up and to refuse to do this project. He was particularly upset when he heard his councilor say that the troops were “saving America”. It’s nice to know even an eight year old knows better.

I think it is a shame that 8 year-old children (and even younger I assume, as children as young as 5 or 6 attend your program), were told to write valentines cards to the troops in the first place, and the fact that they are expected to do this without thought or question is ridiculous. Any teacher worth their salt should be encouraging children to think for them selves, question authority, and never, ever do anything blindly on faith- isn’t that what education (and democracy) is all about?

I can think of plenty of valentines that could have been written around the topic of the war that would have been useful and positive. The children could have been offered an option- perhaps it would be kind to write to children in the war zone, expressing love and hope for them (and us). Perhaps the kids could write to the children of soldiers who have been killed in Iraq, or who have lost their limbs, or their minds, expressing sympathy, love and hope for them (and us). Perhaps the children could have written valentines to our so-called leaders who continue to fund this catastrophe, expressing love and hope for peace (for them, and us). Of course, in writing to the troops, they could ask them not to kill (but I ask you, would you have considered this “supporting the troops”?)

One thing that Cosmo has learned from me at his young age is that peace never comes from the barrel of a gun and the vast majority of victims of war are children just like him, as well as their mothers, fathers, and grandparents. While adults easily dismiss this “collateral damage”, children get it. They recognize the immorality (though they may not label it as such) and the horror of this fact. No rationalizations, no denials, no obfuscations overcome this basic fact of war.

I teach peace in my household, not war. I have a deep and abiding faith in the concept of “Not harming any living being”, (the first precept in Buddhism), and in working non-violently for change. In living this, I am far from perfect, but I endeavor to protect and take care of all living creatures. I do not believe in the efficacy of violence to solve anything, and recognize that war is self-defeating. I also recognize that this country is steeped in violence. We imprison over 2 million citizens, we endorse the death penalty, pass laws against feeding the homeless in public parks, we build walls to keep out immigrants and allow vigilantes to track them down in the desert. We spend 1.7 billion dollars a day on the military (again- not enough armor? You must be kidding me.)

I would like to quote Dr King, who said, "I knew that I could never again raise my voice against the violence of the oppressed in the ghettos without having first spoken clearly to the greatest purveyor of violence in the world today -- my own government."

Sadly, things have not changed much in 40 years. Again, quoting King, “Somehow this madness must cease. We must stop now. I speak as a child of God and brother to the suffering poor of (Vietnam) Iraq. I speak for those whose land is being laid waste, whose homes are being destroyed, whose culture is being subverted. I speak for the poor of America who are paying the double price of smashed hopes at home, and death and corruption in (Vietnam) Iraq. I speak as a citizen of the world, for the world as it stands aghast at the path we have taken. I speak as one who loves America, to the leaders of our own nation: The great initiative in this war is ours; the initiative to stop it must be ours.”

And finally, “We still have a choice today: nonviolent coexistence or violent coannihilation. We must move past indecision to action. We must find new ways to speak for peace in Vietnam Iraq and justice throughout the developing world, a world that borders on our doors. If we do not act, we shall surely be dragged down the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserved for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight.”

I share teachings on non-violence with my child. He is free to ask questions, and often, my response is simply, “I don’t know”. This encourages both of us to look deeper. This education will benefit my son, his friends, his classmates, and society at large far more so than being blindly told to “support the troops”. Real support for the troops in Iraq and the many troops to come (including, someday, my boy’s peers) is teaching peace as a process, a process that begins with me. A process that includes social justice, equality, love, equanimity, and compassion- a process that has understanding as a catalyst. It comes with the recognition that those deemed my “enemy”, are in fact, not separate from myself. It goes hand in hand with the concept of tikkun olam, and the work before us as individuals and as community. This supports not only the troops, but all living things. Perhaps the next time JCC wishes to support something, the JCC administrators can think about including peace, love, and compassion in the lesson plan. This would benefit us all a great deal and I think my son would be an enthusiastic participant.

Ms. Frederick, I understand you may not hold one single belief of mine as your own. This is fine with me. (Perhaps you have never been shot at by a soldier, or stood in front of a tank as it leveled it’s canon at you, or been hit with a sound bomb or tear gas canister, perhaps a 10 year old child, shot by a soldier, has never run, terrified, into your arms. Perhaps you have never sat with a distraught soldier as he told the story of his best friend blown up by an IED.)

This letter is in no way trying to impose my belief system on you. I am simply sharing my feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

I am asking, though, that you take care with those whose care has been entrusted to you. As you know, children’s minds are supple, but they can also be easily molded. What is open, loving and pure can be closed, distorted, and easily manipulated. We need look no further than our own experience for proof of this. As a teacher, I hope you encourage children to think for themselves, ask questions, and make positive choices. I hope that because “he is just a boy” you don’t feel obliged to impose your beliefs on my son or any of your other charges. This would be a grave disservice to them. Perhaps if we encourage our children to question, and remain open, loving and kind, their world will be just a bit brighter, a bit more caring, a bit more loving then the world we birthed them into. And perhaps, just perhaps, we may be open enough to learn something from them.

Finally, I understand you may feel good and right about your participation in the “Support the Troops” campaign, and I imagine that is why you chose to share the letter with me. I hope it is equally fine with you that we chose to express our support in what we believe is a more wholesome manner.


If you have a chance, watch Cloy Richards talk about his tour of duty: http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/022607T.shtml